09-04-2012 06:30 AM - edited 09-04-2012 06:33 AM
A salesman walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then the monkey jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the salesman, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
Thee salesman replies, "No, what?"
"Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" screamed the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me, " replies the salesman, "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. Don't worry , I'll pay for the cue ball and other stuff he ate." The salesman finishes his drink, pays his bill and leaves with the monkey.
Two weeks later the salesman returns to the bar again with his pet monkey. While the salesman is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. The monkey grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"Now what?" replies the salesman.
"Well he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the salesman. "The little twerp still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate the darn cue ball, he measures everything first!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals realize that when prospects or customers tell them to shove their products or proposals, up their "butt", it's just their way of checking to make sure that the salesman and their firm is up to the job at hand.
"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town." - George Carlin
"I learned the way a monkey learns - by watching its parents." - Prince Charles
"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him." - Robert Benchley